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Digitiser Via Digitext - The Online Teletext Simulator
P100Digitext100HOLD

DIGITISER

470

Join Mr Biffo and friends in the digitiser section

Charts 474
Violet Berlin 475

KNIGHTMARE

458

Play the Knightmare Eagle Quest adventure: To The Ice Palace of Aesandre

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FULL DIGITEXT CONTENTS 101

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Key:
To be implemented
Available

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HELP

To advance (quickly) through the pages, press right square bracket key (located near the enter key), otherwise the pages will move forward every minute

To pause a page press "h" and then again to unpause

To move to another page (like 470) just type it in

NIGHT NETWORK

From 12am till 6am the site will play easy listening music to simulate the closedown of TV from the early eighties. This was initially started by Ceefax (the BBC teletext service) but did get picked up by Teletext.

FASTTEXT

Fasttext now added. This helped to jump to pages quickly without the need to key in the numbers. Bamboozle used this to great effect - to see this key in 452.

REVEAL

To be implemented.

ABOUT

I originally wanted to write a Windows 95 simulator as a follow-on homage to LGR's DOS portion of website - http://www.lazygamereviews.com/prompt/. I figured it should work quite well with the advancement in javascript over the years and it meant that I could utilise more JS programming skills as I don't do much of that currently.

I didn't want to use jQuery as I would only be using a small portion of that code and I wanted to try and keep the site as tightly written as possible, without excessive code. I have seen another website that does use jQuery and interestingly that is based more on Ceefax rather than mine which is Teletext based. You can find the site here: http://worldofpaul.com/teletext/.

SO WHY DIGITISER?

Around 2017, Mr Biffo (Paul Rose) of Digitiser fame, surfaced back into the "limelight" and was attending retro gaming events talking about the old Digitiser days. I thought it'd be pretty cool to make an online teletext simulator using nothing but HTML, CSS and Javascript. This would be a cut down challenge from the Windows based one and so here we are.

You stand before Knightmare Castle. With you is Treguard, Master of the Quest.

"Welcome, Adventurer! Your quest will take you to the Great Northern Ice Field, a frozen realm inhabited by ferocious Polar Bears! You travel to rescue a captive maiden. I will aid you when I can: you will hear my voice at time of need. Hold to the adventurer's code:

Answer truthfully, choose wisely, use force only in direst need. And remember

Cheats never prosper!

Treguard indicates the northern trail. Pulling your cloak tightly about you, you stride into the freezing wind. Ahead you see a tall figure: it is Hordriss the Confuser, magician extraordinary.

"Imprecations! Is this the best Treguard could find? One doubts if you are wise enough for such a Quest: one will test you. Tell me, puny adventurer those who dwell in this land are known to outsiders as Eskimos. How are they more properly called?"

Hordriss shakes his head sadly.

"One's worst fears are confirmed. One must go and find another to undertake this task. Farewell, ignorant adventurer."

He turns and leaves you standing alone in the freezing wind as the snows fall more heavily around you.

You wander through the snow as it falls ever harder and harder. All paths vanish in the white torrent that swirls about you. You tire rapidly as the warmth drains from your body. After long, confused wandering you feel yourself losing consciousness and falling into the deep, soft snow.....

You have been found wanting. This time, your Quest may not succeed. But take courage. You have journeyed far and attempted that of which many only dream

Next time you set foot beyond the walls of Castle Knightmare, who knows whence your path may lead?

"Ah," says Hordriss, " an enlightened Adventurer. Remarkable! Listen then: one's foolish daughter Sidriss has been captured by Aesandre the Ice Sorceress. Her palace lies far to the North. She awaits my rescue mission and has set magic traps for me. She will not expect YOU. There is a slight chance you might get through...

"One gifts you with a spell: HEAT. You may use it only once. Good fortune!"

You set out across the ice sheet along the path Hordriss indicates. Soon he is lost behind and you can see nothing but ice and snow in every direction. The chill enters your bones and you shiver in every limb.

Then ahead you spot a small white dome: An igloo!

Do you:

The valley path is filled with snowdrifts and as you push forward you find the snow reaches your knees. The fur coat is weighed down by heavy ice. You step boldly forward onto a slab of ice. It gives way beneath you and frozen snow closes over your head...

"Oh dear," says Treguard. "Frosted Adventurer! And not a microwave in sight!"

Inside the igloo it is slightly warmer. You find a collection of objects left behind by the owner.

A sack. Opening it you find it to be full of greasy, smelly lumps of something unpleasant.

A pair of snowshoes.

A white fur coat.

Which do you take?

Wrapping the coat around you and feeling warm and snug, you step out into the snow again. Heading ever northwards, you come to a divide in the path. You may travel down the valley or along a high rocky ledge.

Which route do you take now?

You climb up above the snowy valley, across bare rock jutting through the ice. At the top of the rise you pause to look down...

And turn at a snarling sound behind you

A large polar bear is growling and forcing you back towards the edge of the ledge.

"Very tactless to go around wearing one of his relatives," whispers Treguard as you fall from the rock-face. Oh dear

Strapping the huge snowshoes onto your feet, step out into the snow again. Heading ever northwards you come to a divide in the path. You may travel down a valley or along a high rocky ledge.

Which route do you take now?

Slinging the weight of the of the sack over one shoulder, you step out into the snow again. Moving north again you come to a divide in the path. You may travel down a valley or along a high rocky ledge.

Which route do you take now?

You climb up above the snowy valley, across the rocks jutting out of the ice. At the top of the rise you pause to look down...

A hideous snarling sounds behind you.

A large polar bear is growling and forcing you back towards the edge of the ledge.

"Decide quickly," says Tregaurd. "He looks hungry."

The valley path is filled with snowdrifts and as you push forward you find the snow spilling over your snowshoes. Once or twice you feel the ice below shifting as you step onto solid-looking surfaces but moving carefully with your snowshoes you manage to make your way to the easier path beyond the valley.

You climb up above the snowy valley, across bare rock jutting through the ice. At the top of the rise you pause..

A hideous snarling sounds behind you.

A large polar bear is growling, forcing you back towards the edge of the ledge. It leaps towards you...

...and rips the sack from your back. As you hurry away Treguard whispers: "You may not like the smell - but some regard two-week old whale blubber as quite a delicacy!"

The valley path is filled with ever deeper snowdrifts and as you push forward you find the snow reaches to your knees. The heavy sack makes you sink deeper in.

As you step boldly forward onto a frozen slab it gives way beneath you and the freezing snows close over your head.....

"Oh dear," says Treguard. "Now you know how a frozen beefburger feels!"

You trip over the heavy snowshoes you are wearing as the bear pounces on you. You have a last impression of its mighty jaws, gaping wide....

"Oh dear," mutters Treguard. "Still never mind: think of it as doing your bit to preserve an endangered species."

You are temporarily refreshed, but the icy wind blows you harder from the north. Your fingers and toes go numb and your vision blurs. The icy cold extends its reach into your very lungs. It seems that you can go no further.

What do you do?

Summoning your last reserves, you push forward and suddenly the blizzard falters. Ahead of you is, miraculously revealed, the ice palace of the sorceress! Its crystal walls, carved from ice tower hundreds of feet into the air. Within, lie the captive - and the enemy!

A desperate final effort propels you to the entrance.

The spell conjures a glowing ball of red light. You step through it and an invigorating rush of warmth floods your limbs and seems to cause the blizzard to falter for a moment. Ahead of you is suddenly revealed the ice palace of the sorceress! Its walls, carved from ice, tower hundreds of feet into the air. Within, lie the captive - and the enemy

You make for the entrance.

Inside the palace, a great hall of ice stretches out before you. At the far end Aesandre stands on a high platform beneath a glittering ice-chandelier. Beside her, frozen in a block of ice is Sidriss.

"So," cries Aesandre, "That old fool Hordriss thinks he can outwit me by sending a young fool in his place. Absurd!"

She raises her hands above her head: she is casting a spell! Do you:

Tregaurd whispers in your ear: "You used your only spell outside. Do you think you can cheat the Quest?"

A bolt of magic force strikes you as you stand there dithering and blackness falls around you.

"And thus fail all who try to cheat their fate." Tregaurd adds. "Be off with you!"

Inside the palace, a great hall of ice stretches out before you. At the far end Aesandre stands on a high platform beneath a glittering ice-chandelier. Beside her, frozen in a block of ice is Sidriss.

"So," cries Aesandre, "that old fool thinks he can outwit me by sending a young fool in his place. Absurd!"

And she raises her hands above her head to cast a spell at you. What do you do?

But before you can manage a single step a bolt of mystic energy flies from Aesandre's fingertips and strikes you full upon the chest. You feel a strange tingling spread through your body...

In this arctic wasteland you cannot survive long without food. Sheltering in a frozen ice-cave you come across a ragged hermit.

"I have food - but share it only with the wise," he says. "You may eat of my bread but only if you can answer me this: The North people believe in a hammer-god.

Which day is his?"

Invoking the spell conjures a ball of red light to form in your right hand. It pulses with warmth as you look up and try to identify a target upon which to use it.

Do you aim for the:

The red sphere flies straight and true towards the evil figure of your enemy.. She deftly bats it aside, causing it to crash out through the ice wall. With a malicious grin she unleashes her own spell which strikes you full in the chest. You feel a strange tingling spread through your body...

You look down at yourself. You seem to be wearing an ill-fitting dinner jacket and baggy trousers. Then you notice that your nose seems to have got longer your arms shorter and the floor closer.

Yes, you have been turned into a PENGUIN!

"Oh dear," says Treguard. "I hope you like fish dinners...."

Your heat spell flies off above the sorceress' head but misses the chandelier. It strikes the ceiling and for a moment there is silence. Then the great sheets of ice above your head shiver and crack. You hurry for the door but before you can reach safety...

CRRRRRRRASSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!

"Well," says Treguard, "that certainly brought the house down!"

The Sorceress blinks with surprise as the ball of HEAT flashes past her. She turns with alarm as the block the ice containing Sidriss shatters, exploding under pressure from within. The heat ball turns upon Aesandre and she abandons her attack on you to raise a hasty defence.

For a few moments you watch anxiously as the fight rages at the far end of the hall. But then the floor there melts, and with a hideous curse Aesandre sinks from view.

Sidriss conjures the ice to reform and runs towards you.

"At last one of my spells has worked! Now we must hurry from here. I doubt my magic will hold her long. Spellcasting: H.O.M.E........."

In the merest instant you are returned to Castle Knightmare. Hordriss is reunited with his daughter.

"Foolish one to risk the perils of the Ice Palace," he chides her.

"Well Done, brave traveller," says Treguard. "You have proven worthy and have achieved your Quest. You may now count yourself among the Knights of Knightmare Castle."

Written by Mike Cule. "Knightmare" is a Broadsword Production for Anglia TV

Digitext would like to thank castleteletext.com for permission in allowing this on here

Credits

Story written by Mike Cule

Original Teletext artwork by Mr Biffo

Thanks to Al for archiving the original Teletext pages. ROBOTFUZZ

Thanks to Mark from ‘Fighting Fantasy (and other gamebooks)’ for mapping it out FFAOGB

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The curious case of congressman George Santos – and his almost entirely fictional life story 301

Key witness found in search for missing dog walker 302

Almost half of young people expect sex to involve physical aggression, says new pornography report 303

Police chiefs offer ‘profound apology’ for Hillsborough disaster 304

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The curious case of congressman George Santos – and his almost entirely fictional life story

In last November’s US midterm elections, voters sent to Congress a man whose grandparents had fled the holocaust – who’d studied at some of New York’s most prestigious schools – and gone onto a career in banking.

Except they didn’t.

George Santos, it turns out, has told so many lies it’s left America spinning.

Today he agreed to step down from prominent committee jobs.

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Key witness found in search for missing dog walker

The family of a woman who disappeared while walking her dog say her two young daughters are “desperate to have their mummy back home”.

There’s been a major search operation in the Lancashire village of St Michael’s on Wyre since Nicola Bulley was last seen.

Her dog was found nearby and her phone was on a bench – still connected to a work conference call.

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Almost half of young people expect sex to involve physical aggression, says new pornography report

Almost half of young people expect sex to involve physical aggression, according to a new report on pornography.

The Children’s Commissioner says we’re at a  “vital moment” to ensure children are protected and has urged the government to make the Online Safety Bill an “urgent priority”.

It warns even children still in primary school are being exposed to porn, which can often be violent.

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Police chiefs offer ‘profound apology’ for Hillsborough disaster

Police chiefs have offered a “profound apology” to the families of the 97 football fans who died as a result of the Hillsborough disaster in 1989.

The admission that “policing got it badly wrong” came today in an official response to a report by former Bishop of Liverpool James Jones, that was published in 2017.

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Bamber Boozler poses another 12 questions. Answer using fasttext at the bottom. One wrong and you must try again.

Can you answer all 12 in one attempt?

Press RED to begin

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Sam Rockwell is 52 this month, but in what film did he play a small role as a head thug with the line: "Regular or Menthol?"

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Red:Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles


Green:Clownhouse


Yellow:The Last Exit to Brooklyn


Cyan:Strictly Business


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Super Mario World is 30 this month. Which new character is introduced?

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Red:Toadstool


Green:Bowser


Yellow:Yoshi


Cyan:Wario


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What do the initials HAL for the HAL 9000 computer mean in the film 2001: A Space Odyssey?

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Red:Hateful Artificial Lifeform


Green:Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer


Yellow:Hardware AI Language


Cyan:Highly Advanced Language


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Which board game is played with teams of players trying to identify specific words from their teammates’ drawings?

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Red:Scattegories


Green:Charades


Yellow:Pictionary


Cyan:Sketchy


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What is the chemical symbol for silver?

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Red:Ag


Green:Au


Yellow:Al


Cyan:Pb

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Bad luck!

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YOU'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED


Do you wish to play again? If so, press red below

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In regards to beer, what does IPA stand for?

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Red:Independently Pumped Ale


Green:Independently Produced Ale


Yellow:Indian Pale Ale


Cyan:Indian Produced Ale


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What type of farm did Taylor Swift grow up on?

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Red:Ranch


Green:Flower Farm


Yellow:Micro Farm


Cyan:Christmas Tree Farm


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Who was Henry VIII's last wife?

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Red:Catherine Howard


Green:Catherine Parr


Yellow:Anne of Cleves


Cyan:Jane Seymour


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What is the lifespan of a dragonfly?

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Red:12 hours


Green:8 hours


Yellow:24 hours


Cyan:48 hours


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Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and which other film make up the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy?

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Red:Run Fatboy Run


Green:The World's End


Yellow:Paul


Cyan:Big Nothing


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Which famous boxer could "float like a butterfly" and "sting like a bee"?

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Red:Muhammad Ali


Green:Mike Tyson


Yellow:Frank Bruno


Cyan:Evander Holyfield


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What is the nickname of the character played by Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption?

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Red:Blue


Green:Green


Yellow:Brown


Cyan:Red


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Well done! How many did you get right first time? Check your rating below

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----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: Howell, David W L
Black: Horton, Andrew P
Date: 12/01/2019


1. Nf3 Nf6 2. c4 e6 3. Nc3 Bb4 4. Qc2 d6 5. a3 Bxc3 6. Qxc3 O-O 7. d3 a5 8. b3 e5 9. e3 Re8 10. Be2 Nbd7 11. Bb2 Qe7 12. O-O Nf8 13. Nd2 Ng6 14. Rae1 Bg4 15. f3 Bd7 16. f4 Bg4 17. fxe5 dxe5 18. Nf3 b6 19. h3 Bd7 20. Nd2 Bc6 21. Rf2 Bb7 22. Nf1 Rad8 23. Ng3 Bc8 24. d4 exd4 25. exd4 Qe3 26. d5 Qxc3 27. Bxc3 Ne4 28. Nxe4 Rxe4 29. Bf1 Rxe1 30. Bxe1 Re8 31. Re2 Rxe2 32. Bxe2 Ne5 33. Bg3 f6 34. Kf2 Bf5 35. Ke3 Bc2 36. b4 axb4 37. axb4 Kf7 38. Kd4 Ke7 39. Bxe5 fxe5+ 40. Kxe5 h6 41. h4 Bb1 42. g3 Bc2 43. Bf1 Bg6 44. Kd4 Kd6 45. Bd3 Bf7 46. c5+ bxc5+ 47. bxc5+ Ke7 48. Ke5 Kd7 49. g4 Ke7 50. h5 Kd7 51. Bf5+ Ke7 52. Bd3 Kd7 53. Bf5+ Ke7 54. c6 Bg8 55. Bg6 Kd8 56. Bf5 Ke7 57. Bg6 Kd8 58. d6 Bc4 59. Be4 Bb3 60. Bf3 Bc4 61. Be4 Bb3 62. Bd5 Bd1 63. Be6 Bc2 64. Bd7 Bd3 65. Kd5 Bc2 66. dxc7+ Kxc7 67. Ke6 g6 68. Kf6 gxh5 69. gxh5 Kd8 70. Kg7 Ke7 71. Kxh6 Bd1 72. Kg6 Bf3 73. h6 Kf8 74. c7 Bb7 75. h7 1-0


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: Adams, Michael
Black: Harvey, Marcus R
Date: 12/01/2019


1. e4 e6 2. d4 d5 3. Nc3 Nf6 4. Bg5 dxe4 5. Nxe4 Be7 6. Bxf6 gxf6 7. Qd2 a6 8. O-O-O f5 9. Nc3 b5 10. Nf3 Qd6 11. Ne5 Nd7 12. f4 Bb7 13. Rg1 Nxe5 14. fxe5 Qb6 15. g4 Rg8 16. Qf2 fxg4 17. Bg2 O-O-O 18. Bxb7+ Kxb7 19. Rxg4 Rxg4 20. Qf3+ Qc6 21. Qxg4 f5 22. exf6 Bxf6 23. Kb1 b4 24. Ne2 e5 25. d5 Rxd5 26. Rxd5 Qxd5 27. Qxb4+ Kc6 28. Qc3+ Kb7 29. Qe1 e4 30. Ng3 Be5 31. Nxe4 1/2-1/2


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: McShane, Luke J
Black: Clarke, Brandon G I
Date: 12/01/2019


1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 d6 3. Bb5+ Nd7 4. d4 cxd4 5. Qxd4 a6 6. Bxd7+ Bxd7 7. Nc3 e5 8. Qd3 Rc8 9. O-O h6 10. Nd2 Qc7 11. Rd1 Bg4 12. Re1 Nf6 13. Nf1 Be7 14. Qg3 g6 15. a4 Be6 16. Ne3 Qc6 17. Qf3 Kf8 18. a5 Kg7 19. Bd2 Qd7 20. Red1 h5 21. Qe2 h4 22. f3 g5 23. Na4 Qc6 24. Nb6 Rcg8 25. c4 Nh5 26. Nbd5 Nf4 27. Qf2 Bf8 28. b3 f6 29. Ng4 Bxg4 30. fxg4 h3 31. g3 Nxd5 32. exd5 Qd7 33. Qf3 Be7 34. Be3 Rc8 35. Ra2 Bd8 36. Qe4 Rf8 37. Rf1 b5 38. axb6 Qb7 39. c5 dxc5 40. Bxg5 Qxb6 41. Raf2 Qd6 42. Rf5 Be7 43. Bh6+ 1-0


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: Pert, Nicholas
Black: Jones, Gawain C B
Date: 12/01/2019


1. d4 Nf6 2. Nf3 g6 3. c4 Bg7 4. Nc3 O-O 5. Bg5 c5 6. d5 h6 7. Bh4 d6 8. e3 Bf5 9. Nd2 g5 10. Bg3 Nbd7 11. Be2 a6 12. O-O Qb6 13. e4 Bg6 14. Rb1 e6 15. a3 Rfe8 16. b4 cxb4 17. axb4 exd5 18. Nxd5 Nxd5 19. cxd5 Bxe4 20. Nc4 Qd8 21. Bd3 Bxd3 22. Qxd3 Ne5 23. Bxe5 Bxe5 24. Nxe5 Rxe5 25. Qd4 Qe7 26. Rbc1 Re8 27. h3 Qd7 28. f4 Rf5 29. Rf2 Qe7 30. fxg5 Rxf2 31. Qxf2 hxg5 32. Kh1 Qe4 33. Qd2 Re5 34. Rd1 g4 35. Qc3 Rh5 36. Kg1 gxh3 37. Qg3+ Qg6 38. Qxg6+ fxg6 39. gxh3 Rxh3 40. Rc1 Rb3 41. Rc8+ Kf7 42. Rc7+ Kf6 43. Rxb7 Ke5 44. Ra7 Rxb4 45. Rxa6 Rf4 46. Ra5 Rd4 47. Kf2 Rxd5 48. Ra8 Kf4 49. Ra4+ Kf5 50. Ke3 g5 51. Ra8 Re5+ 52. Kf2 Kf4 53. Ra4+ Re4 54. Ra5 Rd4 55. Ke2 g4 56. Ra8 Kg3 57. Rg8 Rf4 58. Rg5 Rf6 59. Rg8 Kh3 0-1


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: Horton, Andrew P
Black: Howell, David W L
Date: 12/01/2019


1. Nf3 d5 2. c4 c6 3. g3 Bg4 4. Bg2 e6 5. O-O Nf6 6. b3 Nbd7 7. Bb2 Bd6 8. d4 Qb8 9. Nbd2 O-O 10. Re1 Re8 11. e4 dxe4 12. Nxe4 Nxe4 13. Rxe4 Bh5 14. Qd2 a5 15. a3 Qc7 16. Rae1 Rad8 17. Qc3 Nf6 18. R4e2 c5 19. dxc5 Bxc5 20. b4 axb4 21. axb4 Bf8 22. h3 Bxf3 23. Bxf3 b6 24. Rc1 Rc8 25. Rec2 Red8 26. c5 bxc5 27. bxc5 Nd5 28. Bxd5 Rxd5 29. c6 h5 30. h4 Rc5 31. Qe3 Rd5 32. Rd2 Qd6 33. Rxd5 Qxd5 34. Qc3 f6 35. Ba3 Rc7 36. Bxf8 Kxf8 37. Qb4+ Kf7 38. Qb6 Qd6 39. Qb5 Kg6 40. Qe2 Qd5 41. Qc2+ Kf7 42. Qc3 Kg6 43. Qc2+ Kf7 44. Qc3 Kg6 1/2-1/2


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: Harvey, Marcus R
Black: Adams, Michael
Date: 12/01/2019


1. Nf3 d5 2. b3 Nf6 3. Bb2 e6 4. e3 Bd6 5. c4 O-O 6. Qc2 c5 7. cxd5 exd5 8. d4 cxd4 9. Nxd4 Nc6 10. Nxc6 bxc6 11. Nd2 c5 12. Bd3 Bb7 13. O-O d4 14. e4 Ng4 15. Nf3 Qc7 16. h3 Nh2 17. Nxh2 Bxh2+ 18. Kh1 Bf4 19. Bc1 Rac8 20. Bxf4 Qxf4 21. Qc1 Qd6 22. f4 f6 23. Qc4+ Kh8 24. Rae1 Rfe8 25. Qf7 Re7 26. Qh5 Qc6 27. Rf2 Ba6 28. Qe2 Bxd3 29. Qxd3 Rce8 30. Rfe2 Qd6 31. Rf2 g6 32. Kh2 a5 33. g3 Qc6 34. Rfe2 Kg7 35. h4 h5 36. Kg1 Re6 37. Kf2 R8e7 38. Qf3 a4 39. e5 Qxf3+ 40. Kxf3 axb3 41. axb3 fxe5 42. fxe5 Rb6 43. Ke4 Rxb3 44. Kd5 Rd7+ 45. Kc6 Rbb7 46. e6 Rbc7+ 47. Kb5 Rd8 48. e7 Rb8+ 49. Kc4 Re8 50. Re4 Kf7 51. Rf1+ Kg7 52. Rfe1 Kf7 1/2-1/2


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

----- BRITISH KNOCKOUT ------------------------------------


White: Clarke, Brandon G I
Black: McShane, Luke J
Date: 12/01/2019


1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bb5 Nf6 4. d3 Bc5 5. c3 O-O 6. Bg5 Be7 7. O-O d6 8. Nbd2 Ng4 9. Bxe7 Nxe7 10. d4 Ng6 11. Re1 Qe7 12. Nf1 Nh4 13. Ng3 Nxf3+ 14. Qxf3 Qf6 15. Qxf6 Nxf6 16. Bc4 Re8 17. f3 Be6 18. Bxe6 Rxe6 19. d5 Ree8 20. c4 a5 21. Ne2 Kf8 22. Nc3 Ke7 23. b3 c6 24. Red1 Nd7 25. Kf2 g6 26. Ke3 h5 27. Rd2 c5 28. g3 h4 29. g4 g5 30. Kd3 Ra6 31. Nb5 Rc8 32. a3 Kd8 33. Rda2 Rca8 34. Kc3 Kc8 35. Rb1 Kd8 36. a4 1/2-1/2


Results from: https://www.londonchessclassic.com/

This week we have a new Eagle Quest game to play. A new adventure will appear here on Wednesday afternoon 29 December. Bamboozle will return in January. Press red to enter the mysterious world of Castle Knightmare...


This is an adventure game using the fast text colour buttons on certain televisions. Once you begin your adventure, you will undertake a fantastic journey. Mistakes may force you to retrace your steps - only perseverance, wit and courage will take you to the end of the Knightmare trail.

DIGITISER LIVE WEEKEND 2023: FAQ ----- 471

DIGITISER'S 30th ANNIVERSARY! ----- 472

THE DIGITISER LIVE FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE ----- 473

This Month in...charts ----- 474

Violet Berlin ----- 475

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It's happening again! Bigger and better and more anniversary-er than ever!

It may not have escaped your attention that Digitiser is celebrating 30 years of existence in 2023, and to celebrate, two years on from the triumph that was Digi Live 2.0, we're going to be hosting a full weekend of live nonsense, talks, panels and screenings.

​We'll be joined by lots of special guests, and over two nights we intend to entertain the living hell out of you. Your body will be broken and shattered by the time we've finished with you. You'll be begging us to stop. 

Read on for more details, or just throw caution to the wind and book your tickets to Night 1 here and to Night 2 here.

EDIT (20 Jan 2023):


If you want help with accommodation or travel, or have any questions, there's now a Facebook group set up for that: https://www.facebook.com/groups/726702425742043/

WHEN IS IT HAPPENING?


Friday July 28th and Saturday 29th 2023.

Friday night kicks off at 5pm - there will be longer programme of events that night (unhinged game shows, screenings, and what promises to be a VERY chaotic Q&A panel) - and the Saturday Digi Live show starts at 7pm. Doors to both nights will open about half an hour before showtime.

There will be an interval on the Friday, during which there'll be a screening of something very exclusive, but Saturday will have no interval (but as per previous years, there might be a pre-show).


There will be additional events (tbc) during Saturday afternoon, courtesy of the Chunky Fringe event.

WHERE IS IT HAPPENING?
Harrow Arts Centre,
171 Uxbridge Road,
Hatch End,
HA5 4EA
 
If you have any questions about the venue, please contact them:

020 3773 7161 
box.office@harrowarts.com

TICKETS
Unlike previous years, tickets are being sold by Harrow Arts directly, and are priced at £22 each, plus a £1 booking fee.

Also different this time is that seating is allocated, rather than the free-for-all it has been in the past. We've sold out in previous years - and by the time you read this, our Patrons have already been purchasing tickets - so we don't recommend waiting too long. We would urge you to only book if it's your intention to come, so as not to lead to disappointment for others.

Look! Here they are! Here are the tickets:

NIGHT 1 TICKETS

NIGHT 2 TICKETS 

The first year we did a Digi Live, we managed to get #DigitiserLive trending on social media. It'd be brilliant if we could do that again - so spread the word once you've bought your tickets, and help us make this a success.

DO I HAVE TO BUY TICKETS TO BOTH NIGHTS?
No you don't, and we know it's not possible for everyone (which is why we've put them on sale separately), but we recommend that you try to come to both, as they form two parts of a whole.

Only attending one night means you'd be missing out on a lot of quality silliness, and you don't want to kick yourself afterwards when you find out what you could've been a part of. It'll be a unique, once-in-a-lifetime, weekend.

WHAT'S HAPPENING EACH NIGHT?
To be honest, as I write this it's mid-January so... we're not 100% sure yet. We've only just begun planning, and our first full production meeting isn't until next week. 

We have loose plans however, and it's our intention that both nights will have the level of unnecessary ambition that many of you have come to expect from our events. 

We're not ones for repeating ourselves, and so neither night will be like any Digi Live event you've been to before. 

We can guarantee you will have fun, and that it'll be a weekend to remember. We've put on a few of these now, and we feel we're getting better and better at it.

As mentioned above, Friday is going to be broken up into a programme of different on-stage events and activities, while Saturday will be one show, beginning-to-end. It'll be a weekend full of nostalgia, laughs, and twists that we promise you won't see coming. 

We're also hoping to host something special for our Patrons at some point over the weekend. If you'd like to sign up to that, you can do so here.

A complete itinerary of events across the weekend will be posted closer to the time. 

WILL I NEED TO BE FAMILIAR WITH TELETEXT-ERA DIGI?
Not in the slightest. You know us: whatever we do will inevitably go off the rails regardless of plans. That's part of Digi Live's charm.

There might be a slightly higher retro gaming element than in the previous Digi Live, as we'll be giving a nod or three back to our roots, but both shows will span all eras of Digi - from Teletext, to Digitiser The Show, to its current YouTube incarnation, and Digi Level 2.

So, expect to see appearances from Fat Sow, The Man's Daddy, Snakes, Action Man, Beanus... and all that lot. As well as us and our mates, obviously. 

But you'll be able to enjoy yourself even if you know nothing about Digitiser (and it's even more fun if you bring someone who you know won't get it).

WHO'S IN IT?
The shows will be hosted primarily by me, Mr Biffo, with assistance from the other Digi semi-regulars Paul Gannon, Sanja, and Eli Silverman. We’ll also hopefully be joined by lots of our Digi friends. And maybe a surprise guest or three - we've already had confirmation from some of them, with a few more to be confirmed nearer the date. 
 
Due to the inclusion of the above filthy individuals, we recommend the show is for guests aged 16+.

TRAVEL


Harrow Arts Centre is easily accessible by car and various methods of public transport. 
 
BY BUS
The H14 and H12 stop directly outside Harrow Arts Centre. The 182 stops at Oxhey Lane, a 4-minute walk away.
Plan your journey with TFL Journey Planner

BY CAR
Harrow Arts Centre is easily accessible via the A410 – Uxbridge Road.
Get directions to HA5 4EA on Google Maps

PARKING
There is free level parking for 90 cars at Harrow Arts Centre. Free overflow parking is available at the adjacent Morrisons car park. On performance nights, the Morrisons overflow car park will not be locked.

BY TRAIN
London Overground Trains run directly from London Euston to Hatch End in 40 minutes, and the line directly links to Willesden Junction and Watford Junction. Harrow Arts Centre is a 6-minute walk from Hatch End Overground Station
Plan your journey with TFL Journey Planner

BY UNDERGROUND
The nearest London Underground stations are Harrow on the Hill or Pinner (Metropolitan Line), Harrow & Wealdstone (Bakerloo Line), Stanmore (Jubilee Line). Bus routes are available from all of these station to Harrow Arts Centre with an approximate journey time of 30-minutes.
Plan your journey with TFL Journey Planner

BY COACH
Coaches can drop off passengers at the front entrance of Harrow Arts Centre using the service road between HAC at Morrisons. Unfortunately, we do not have any coach parking available on site.

WHERE TO STAY


Obviously, the biggest change this time around is that we're spanning two nights. We've chosen to do this is obviously because it's our 30th anniversary this year - and we want to celebrate it with all of you. But also, because we know how much many of you appreciate the social aspect of Digi Live. Lots of you would stay over for past events anyway, so we thought, well, if you're already here...

​However, this obviously means that for many of you it'll be a Digi sleepover for the first time. Fortunately, there are lots of options in the area (including Airbnb, should you want to go that route).

There's a Travelodge in central Harrow, and a Premier Inn in nearby Kenton. Both are a brief bus or cab journey from the venue.

Other hotels in the area can be found here. 

If you'd like to stay somewhere with a bit of Digi/Biffo history, the grounds of the Grim's Dyke Hotel are where we've filmed a whole host of things, including two eps of Supernatural World (see if you can find Schwenk's ghost...!), the Sexy Christmas USA video, and a few Biffovision clips.

Another option would be to stay in Watford, as there's a direct train which is just a few stops from Hatch End station, and obviously you'll be near the mainline Watford Junction. And then you really won't be in London. 

If you're completely mad, you might want to consider camping. We have Aldenham Country Park just 5 miles away - where we filmed our Winnie the Pooh day out.

WHAT ELSE IS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME?


Wait and see. We have plans.
 
WHAT IS CHUNKY FRINGE?
Chunky Fringe will be a space for retro technology enthusiasts to demonstrate their work. In the past it has featured panels, demonstrations, and guests. It will be a free event taking place during the afternoon on the Harrow Arts site. 
 
CAN I HELP?
We’ve got all the backstage crew we need at the moment, but if that changes and we need volunteers, we’ll put out the call.
 
WILL THERE BE A MEET AND GREET?
Post-show on the Saturday, we’ll be hanging around to say hello, like we always do. There may be other opportunities as well, but we'll let you know.

WILL THERE BE MERCH?
Hopefully! Card payments only, but we might be doing pre-orders for some of it.
 
FOOD AND DRINK
The bar will be open before and after the shows. 
 
There’s a Morrison’s supermarket right next door for sandwiches and whatnot. They also have a café.
 
A short walk will take you into Hatch End, which has a whole host of restaurants and a pub. 

At previous Digi Lives, most people got there early and hung out in the car park and adjoining field. Harrow Arts are more than happy if you wish to do that again, weather permitting. Pray for sunshine!

WILL IT BE FILMED OR STREAMED?
It may be filmed - though we're considering not doing so this time - but we definitely won't be doing a live stream. Digi Live is something that should really be experienced in person.

CAN I COSPLAY?
Yes! We had a couple of people show up in costume last time, and it was BRILLIANT. 

HEALTH & SAFETY


Harrow Arts Centre is a certified Covid secure venue. 

We are aware that for many of you, travelling to an event like this might be stressful and anxiety-inducing. Rest assured, the Digitiser community is incredibly warm, diverse, and welcoming. Everyone who attended a previous Digi Live remarked on what a lovely atmosphere it was. Whoever you are, you won't regret being there. 

London can be an intimidating place for those who aren't used to it, but Harrow Arts Centre is in a quiet, leafy suburb right on the fringes of London.

We have a ZERO TOLERANCE policy when it comes to anyone who fails to respect the personal space, beliefs, and views of others. Respect the choice of those who take additional Covid precautions. Harassing, disorderly, or offensive behavior will not be tolerated. 

Anyone finding themselves in a situation where they feel their safety is at risk or who become aware of an attendee not in compliance with this policy should immediately locate the nearest member of security or staff.

Generally, just be respectful. You’ll be ejected from the venue and banned from all future Digitiser events if you fail to do so.
 
We’ve done what we can to consider those with photosensitive epilepsy, and are confident the show will be safe for most people. However, with any live event featuring lighting, video, and smoke, you attend at your own risk.
 
ACCESSIBILITY
Harrow Arts Centre has excellent access for all users.

There are ramps and lifts to all areas with adapted WCs throughout the centre, reserved disabled parking close to the building, and a lowered counter at the Box Office. 

Seeing and hearing dogs are welcome, and water can be provided for all assistance dogs. An induction loop system is available in both of our performance spaces, Elliot Hall and The Studio Theatre.

To enhance your safety and to comply with fire regulations, we request that wheelchair-users are accompanied by a friend or companion.

If you have any other questions, please contact the box office. 

ONE LAST THING...


We live in strange times, full of uncertainty. This is a big gamble for us in a lot of respects, and takes a huge amount of work. The Digi Weekend is more ambitious than the shows we've put on before - and two nights is a much bigger financial risk. We're not a huge channel. We're relying upon the enthusiasm of what we know is a fairly small audience, so this is a gamble.

But... 

As many of you are aware, the last couple of years have been particularly tough for Sanja and I. Throughout it, the Digi community has been there for us. Though we're ostensibly celebrating 30 years of Digitiser, it's as much a celebration of this weird little community we've found ourselves at the heart of. One night just didn't seem enough.

Digi has been a constant - more or less - through more than half my life, and this may be the last  excuse to really celebrate that. Never say never, but I can't imagine us doing this for the 40th anniversary in 10 years time. 

We've gone from being the biggest games magazine in the country, to a cult YouTube channel with a relatively tiny fanbase, that somehow manages to hold successful crowdfunding campaigns, and sold out live events. This is down to all of you.

No, our audience isn't huge, but we wouldn't swap your passion, loyalty, and support for all the viewers in the world. The Digitiser Weekend is our chance to say thank you in person, and we hope as many of you as possible will join us. It promises to be an amazing weekend.

We'll update the FAQ over the coming months as the plans start to come into sharper focus. 

If you've got any additional questions, please email us or the venue: 

digitiser2000@gmail.com

box.office@harrowarts.com
​​​

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This Month in....1985 (ZX Spectrum)


1 Sabre Wolf

2 Daley Thompson's Decathlon

3 Monty Mole

4 Lords Of Midnight

5 Matchpoint

6 Jet Set Willy

7 Pyjamarama

8 Full Throttle

9 Atic Atac

10 Knightlore


ZX Spectrum Charts taken from Crash

Others will be added when available

This Month in....1990 (Commodore 64)


1 Batman: The Movie

2 Paperboy

3 Stunt Car Racer

4 Power Drift

5 Ghosts 'n Goblins

6 Robocop

7 Untouchables

8 Cabal

9 Cobra

10 Top Gun


All Charts taken from C&VG

This Month in....1995 (Megadrive)


1 FIFA '95

2 Micro Machines 2

3 PGA Golf 3

4 Earthworm Jim

5 Rugby World Cup


Sega Charts taken from C&VG

Nintendo Charts taken from C&VG

Amiga Charts taken from Amiga Format or C&VG

This Month in....1997 (Saturn)



Sega Saturn Charts from Sega Saturn Magazine, with thanks to @SegaMags

This Month in....2000 (PC)



N64 & PlayStation Charts taken from C&VG

PC Charts taken from PC Zone

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Guide Digitiser Guide Guide