REVIEW: VADER IMMORTAL - EPISODE 1 (Oculus Quest) ----- 471



This Month in...charts ----- 474

Violet Berlin ----- 475


To be implemented



To advance (quickly) through the pages, press right square bracket key (located near the enter key), otherwise the pages will move forward every minute

To pause a page press "h" and then again to unpause

To move to another page (like 470) just type it in


From 12am till 6am the site will play easy listening music to simulate the closedown of TV from the early eighties. This was initially started by Ceefax (the BBC teletext service) but did get picked up by Teletext.


To be implemented.


To be implemented.


I originally wanted to write a Windows 95 simulator as a follow-on homage to LGR's DOS portion of website - http://www.lazygamereviews.com/prompt/. I figured it should work quite well with the advancement in javascript over the years and it meant that I could utilise more JS programming skills as I don't do much of that currently.

I didn't want to use jQuery as I would only be using a small portion of that code and I wanted to try and keep the site as tightly written as possible, without excessive code. I have seen another website that does use jQuery and interestingly that is based more on Ceefax rather than mine which is Teletext based. You can find the site here: http://worldofpaul.com/teletext/.


Around 2017, Mr Biffo (Paul Rose) of Digitiser fame, surfaced back into the "limelight" and was attending retro gaming events talking about the old Digitiser days. I thought it'd be pretty cool to make an online teletext simulator using nothing but HTML, CSS and Javascript. This would be a cut down challenge from the Windows based one and so here we are.


I'm going to state this upfront; I've got a really bad back.That has nothing to do with Vader Immortal, but everything to do with how I'm getting on with my Oculus Quest. Several hours on the thing yesterday, playing the likes of Superhot and Space Pirate Trainer - both of which required a degree of ducking and weaving - has buggered up my coccyx. Oh, the joys of middle-aged gaming in the 21st Century. Also: ha ha - "buggered up my coccyx"!!!For all the pain I'm in - and it's quite a lot of pain, but I don't need your sympathy thanks (I take my dopamine in a different form) - it's testament to the immersive qualities of the Quest that I didn't even notice I was actually doing some sort of exercise.Albeit by moving my body in a way that it clearly didn't want to be moved."Oh, why's he whinging about his back? Just get to the review FFS."It hurts, alright?!?! Plus, wiping my bottom later is going to be a painful chore.Furthermore, I'm most surprised that I'm able to use the headset for extended periods without getting nauseous. Even my wife played on it at length last night, and usually she only has to turn the page of a magazine to get motion sickness.​Fortunately, most of Vader Immortal Episode 1 is relatively sedate - a creepy, atmospheric, interactive slow-burn, that we're being told is now an official part of the increasingly overwhelming Star Wars canon - and you're able to get through the first part of this three-part series in one sitting/standing.


Vader Immortal is kind of a follow-up to Secrets Of The Force - a pop-up VR experience that has appeared at various locations around the globe, and which I never bothered doing because I thought it'd make me throw up. It expands upon the mythology of Darth Vader, and like most things to do with Darth Vader in the last 20 years, does its best to make us forget cherubic, bowl-haired, Jake Lloyd and cardboard human facsimile Hayden Christensen, and instil some mystery back into the character. Its big selling point is that it's set primarily around Vader's Castle - as glimpsed, wholly unnecessarily, during a bit of Rogue One. Here you play the role of a faceless, voiceless, mercenary - with a chatty droid sidekick, of course, played by Mya Rudolph.Starting in space - as all proper Star Wars should - you get drawn to Mustafar, with all its deadly high ground, and into Vader's clutches......Why would he build a house on Mustafar? That's messed-up, given it's where he had his legs and one of his arms cut off, and almost got burned to death, and accidentally choked his wife to death. If I had my legs and one of my arms cut off, and almost got burned to death, and accidentally choked my wife to death somewhere, I wouldn't then buy a house there. I'd do my best to avoid ever going back to the place. It's like something Fred West would do.Maybe that's the point. I dunno.The script, by veteran screenwriter David S. Goyer, is decent, the acting is good, the directing and staging of the environment is great.Best of all, it doesn't drag; it builds atmosphere, but no moment goes on for too long. Essentially, it's one big, linear, cutscene, but the interactive elements are frequent enough to keep you engaged with the world. It's not a game - not really even once you get to wield a lightsaber -  but it is an interactive movie done right.


Fortunately, there is a game mode attached to Vader Immortal, and it's actually pretty good. Vader's Dojo is a wave-based combat game, where you face off against those little Jedi training remotes. In short; last as long as you can by using your blade to slice through them, or reflect their shots back to make them explode.It's doesn't evolve much beyond increasing the numbers and aggression of the remotes, but the feel of holding a lightsaber in your hand - as anybody who has played Beat Saber VR will attest - is unbelievably cool.Coupled to the Quest's near-flawless tracking, I found myself instinctively doing the poses - holding the blade above my head, twirling it around, and generally acting in a way that I thought made me look awesome, but probably made me look a pilled-up flamenco dancer to any outside observer.​Suffice to say, as Star Wars fan, I enjoyed this first slice of Vader Immortal very much. It's over a little too soon, but I was left wanting more of this story, and more Star Wars in VR...Did I really review a Star Wars gaming by talking about wiping my bottom? Yes. Yes I did. Do you think any Jedi has ever wiped their bottom using the Force?Probably. Though I bet Yoda just uses a leaf on a stick.SCORE: 66 Orders out of 80 


In a new low, Biffo and Gannon barely take a look at Tiger's Real Feel Tennis electronic game - and make you an offer that you'll probably want to refuse...



This Month in....1989 (Commodore 64)

1 Robocop

2 Afterburner

3 Microprose Soccer

4 Double Dragon

5 Operation Wolf

6 Thunder Blade

7 Bomb Jack

8 Pro Ski Simulator

9 Ace 2

10 Ace

All Charts taken from C&VG

This Month in....1994 (Megadrive)

1 NBA Jam

2 FIFA International Soccer

3 Sonic 3

4 Ground Zero Texas (Mega CD)

5 Aladdin

6 Street Fighter 2 CE

7 WWF Royal Rumble

8 Sensible Soccer

9 Charles Barclay: Shut Up and Jam

10 NHL Hockey '94 (Mega CD)

Sega Charts taken from C&VG

Nintendo Charts taken from C&VG

Amiga Charts taken from Amiga Format or C&VG

This Month in....1999 (PlayStation)

N64 & PlayStation Charts taken from C&VG

PC Charts taken from PC Zone


Fri May 17 04:36:45 +0000 2019

RT @geoffwhite247: Find out what happens when you don't play ball with facial recognition tech being trialed by UK police.... https://t.co…

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Liked: 0
Wed Apr 24 07:12:18 +0000 2019

@alomshaha The flash card computer/phone apps are good as they can be a shared activity between students. Or - last resort- YOU make them and they learn them.

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Liked: 0
Wed Apr 24 07:10:29 +0000 2019

@alomshaha @myorangecrush I know a can’t-study teen who watched YouTube videos on 2x speed to stop attention wandering. Worked. Another can’t-study teen found flash cards help - last minute, panicked, minimal, but prob made a grade difference.

Retweeted: 1
Liked: 3
Sat Apr 13 19:36:25 +0000 2019

RT @ZonePhysics: For those who have never seen a complete Rainbow 🌈 https://t.co/RTp307844y

Retweeted: 16521
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Sat Apr 13 17:07:58 +0000 2019

@britishlibrary thx for intensely satisfying #OTPc2 - my highlight of @londongamesfest - amazing speakers and hosts @miss_wisdom, @iRNY - bring on chapter 3

Retweeted: 1
Liked: 5
Sat Apr 13 12:01:47 +0000 2019

@ncrossland And looks like Westerns have gone west

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Sat Apr 13 11:44:58 +0000 2019

@miss_wisdom @MataHaggis @britishlibrary @Contemporary_BL The 'Argos bible' is what my family have always called them

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Sat Apr 06 14:59:26 +0000 2019

@keefstuart Ah you got me at Andrew Lang ...

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Sat Mar 30 17:44:59 +0000 2019

RT @gavinesler: Just to be clear - Brexit means implementing a policy based on an advisory vote in which the “winning” side cheated and bro…

Retweeted: 6131
Liked: 0
Wed Mar 27 18:13:17 +0000 2019

@SueBrunningBM @britishmuseum @rosieweetch @sodiumjones @AmyElizabee I love this room, yay!

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Liked: 1
Tue Mar 26 16:11:52 +0000 2019

RT @mrdavidwhitley: I'm so broken that I've signed an online petition. JOIN ME. Petition: Revoke Article 50 and remain in the EU. https://…

Retweeted: 815
Liked: 0
Mon Mar 25 03:44:36 +0000 2019

@nostalnerd @Twitch Wow I remember playing this at the time to review it for some newspapers. My intro to Lovecraft and Cthulhu. Loved but forgotten until this moment.

Retweeted: 0
Liked: 2
Tue Mar 12 15:15:57 +0000 2019

@sauusages Just had lunch with @LadyPellinore and she remembers your fondly. Her surname was Gyngell but is now Gale. Say hi to Marcel from me.

Retweeted: 0
Liked: 0
Sun Mar 10 08:24:08 +0000 2019

@CCHQPress Gaslighters. You stole my EU citizenship and my children’s future. Then you insist that I’ve not lost but gained something. I see you.

Retweeted: 1
Liked: 10
Thu Mar 07 13:51:18 +0000 2019

@MortimerPhilly @alomshaha Hear hear! My sisters and I were terrified of 'own clothes day' as we only had cast-offs etc. but if you stay in uniform you are mocked. It's cruel.

Retweeted: 0
Liked: 1

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