• Guide/About........................ 102
• UK/World News...................... 300
• Bamboozle.......................... 452
• Chess.............................. 453
• Knightmare......................... 458
• Digitiser.......................... 470
• Turner the Worm.................... 496

Key:
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Available

HELP

To advance (quickly) through the pages, press right square bracket key (located near the enter key), otherwise the pages will move forward every minute

To pause a page press "h" and then again to unpause

To move to another page (like 470) just type it in

NIGHT NETWORK

From 12am till 6am the site will play easy listening music to simulate the closedown of TV from the early eighties. This was initially started by Ceefax (the BBC teletext service) but did get picked up by Teletext.

FASTTEXT

Fasttext now added. This helped to jump to pages quickly without the need to key in the numbers. Bamboozle used this to great effect - to see this key in 452.

REVEAL

To be implemented.

ABOUT

I originally wanted to write a Windows 95 simulator as a follow-on homage to LGR's DOS portion of website - https://www.lazygamereviews.com/prompt/. I figured it should work quite well with the advancement in javascript over the years and it meant that I could utilise more JS programming skills as I don't do much of that currently.

I didn't want to use jQuery as I would only be using a small portion of that code and I wanted to try and keep the site as tightly written as possible, without excessive code. I have seen another website that does use jQuery and interestingly that is based more on Ceefax rather than mine which is Teletext based. You can find the site here: https://worldofpaul.com/teletext/.

SO WHY DIGITISER?

Around 2017, Mr Biffo (Paul Rose) of Digitiser fame, surfaced back into the "limelight" and was attending retro gaming events talking about the old Digitiser days. I thought it'd be pretty cool to make an online teletext simulator using nothing but HTML, CSS and Javascript. This would be a cut down challenge from the Windows based one and so here we are.

You stand before Knightmare Castle. With you is Treguard, Master of the Quest.

"Welcome, Adventurer! Your quest will take you to the Great Northern Ice Field, a frozen realm inhabited by ferocious Polar Bears! You travel to rescue a captive maiden. I will aid you when I can: you will hear my voice at time of need. Hold to the adventurer's code:

Answer truthfully, choose wisely, use force only in direst need. And remember

Cheats never prosper!

Treguard indicates the northern trail. Pulling your cloak tightly about you, you stride into the freezing wind. Ahead you see a tall figure: it is Hordriss the Confuser, magician extraordinary.

"Imprecations! Is this the best Treguard could find? One doubts if you are wise enough for such a Quest: one will test you. Tell me, puny adventurer those who dwell in this land are known to outsiders as Eskimos. How are they more properly called?"

Hordriss shakes his head sadly.

"One's worst fears are confirmed. One must go and find another to undertake this task. Farewell, ignorant adventurer."

He turns and leaves you standing alone in the freezing wind as the snows fall more heavily around you.

You wander through the snow as it falls ever harder and harder. All paths vanish in the white torrent that swirls about you. You tire rapidly as the warmth drains from your body. After long, confused wandering you feel yourself losing consciousness and falling into the deep, soft snow.....

You have been found wanting. This time, your Quest may not succeed. But take courage. You have journeyed far and attempted that of which many only dream

Next time you set foot beyond the walls of Castle Knightmare, who knows whence your path may lead?

"Ah," says Hordriss, " an enlightened Adventurer. Remarkable! Listen then: one's foolish daughter Sidriss has been captured by Aesandre the Ice Sorceress. Her palace lies far to the North. She awaits my rescue mission and has set magic traps for me. She will not expect YOU. There is a slight chance you might get through...

"One gifts you with a spell: HEAT. You may use it only once. Good fortune!"

You set out across the ice sheet along the path Hordriss indicates. Soon he is lost behind and you can see nothing but ice and snow in every direction. The chill enters your bones and you shiver in every limb.

Then ahead you spot a small white dome: An igloo!

Do you:

The valley path is filled with snowdrifts and as you push forward you find the snow reaches your knees. The fur coat is weighed down by heavy ice. You step boldly forward onto a slab of ice. It gives way beneath you and frozen snow closes over your head...

"Oh dear," says Treguard. "Frosted Adventurer! And not a microwave in sight!"

Inside the igloo it is slightly warmer. You find a collection of objects left behind by the owner.

A sack. Opening it you find it to be full of greasy, smelly lumps of something unpleasant.

A pair of snowshoes.

A white fur coat.

Which do you take?

Wrapping the coat around you and feeling warm and snug, you step out into the snow again. Heading ever northwards, you come to a divide in the path. You may travel down the valley or along a high rocky ledge.

Which route do you take now?

You climb up above the snowy valley, across bare rock jutting through the ice. At the top of the rise you pause to look down...

And turn at a snarling sound behind you

A large polar bear is growling and forcing you back towards the edge of the ledge.

"Very tactless to go around wearing one of his relatives," whispers Treguard as you fall from the rock-face. Oh dear

Strapping the huge snowshoes onto your feet, step out into the snow again. Heading ever northwards you come to a divide in the path. You may travel down a valley or along a high rocky ledge.

Which route do you take now?

Slinging the weight of the of the sack over one shoulder, you step out into the snow again. Moving north again you come to a divide in the path. You may travel down a valley or along a high rocky ledge.

Which route do you take now?

You climb up above the snowy valley, across the rocks jutting out of the ice. At the top of the rise you pause to look down...

A hideous snarling sounds behind you.

A large polar bear is growling and forcing you back towards the edge of the ledge.

"Decide quickly," says Tregaurd. "He looks hungry."

The valley path is filled with snowdrifts and as you push forward you find the snow spilling over your snowshoes. Once or twice you feel the ice below shifting as you step onto solid-looking surfaces but moving carefully with your snowshoes you manage to make your way to the easier path beyond the valley.

You climb up above the snowy valley, across bare rock jutting through the ice. At the top of the rise you pause..

A hideous snarling sounds behind you.

A large polar bear is growling, forcing you back towards the edge of the ledge. It leaps towards you...

...and rips the sack from your back. As you hurry away Treguard whispers: "You may not like the smell - but some regard two-week old whale blubber as quite a delicacy!"

The valley path is filled with ever deeper snowdrifts and as you push forward you find the snow reaches to your knees. The heavy sack makes you sink deeper in.

As you step boldly forward onto a frozen slab it gives way beneath you and the freezing snows close over your head.....

"Oh dear," says Treguard. "Now you know how a frozen beefburger feels!"

You trip over the heavy snowshoes you are wearing as the bear pounces on you. You have a last impression of its mighty jaws, gaping wide....

"Oh dear," mutters Treguard. "Still never mind: think of it as doing your bit to preserve an endangered species."

You are temporarily refreshed, but the icy wind blows you harder from the north. Your fingers and toes go numb and your vision blurs. The icy cold extends its reach into your very lungs. It seems that you can go no further.

What do you do?

Summoning your last reserves, you push forward and suddenly the blizzard falters. Ahead of you is, miraculously revealed, the ice palace of the sorceress! Its crystal walls, carved from ice tower hundreds of feet into the air. Within, lie the captive - and the enemy!

A desperate final effort propels you to the entrance.

The spell conjures a glowing ball of red light. You step through it and an invigorating rush of warmth floods your limbs and seems to cause the blizzard to falter for a moment. Ahead of you is suddenly revealed the ice palace of the sorceress! Its walls, carved from ice, tower hundreds of feet into the air. Within, lie the captive - and the enemy

You make for the entrance.

Inside the palace, a great hall of ice stretches out before you. At the far end Aesandre stands on a high platform beneath a glittering ice-chandelier. Beside her, frozen in a block of ice is Sidriss.

"So," cries Aesandre, "That old fool Hordriss thinks he can outwit me by sending a young fool in his place. Absurd!"

She raises her hands above her head: she is casting a spell! Do you:

Tregaurd whispers in your ear: "You used your only spell outside. Do you think you can cheat the Quest?"

A bolt of magic force strikes you as you stand there dithering and blackness falls around you.

"And thus fail all who try to cheat their fate." Tregaurd adds. "Be off with you!"

Inside the palace, a great hall of ice stretches out before you. At the far end Aesandre stands on a high platform beneath a glittering ice-chandelier. Beside her, frozen in a block of ice is Sidriss.

"So," cries Aesandre, "that old fool thinks he can outwit me by sending a young fool in his place. Absurd!"

And she raises her hands above her head to cast a spell at you. What do you do?

But before you can manage a single step a bolt of mystic energy flies from Aesandre's fingertips and strikes you full upon the chest. You feel a strange tingling spread through your body...

In this arctic wasteland you cannot survive long without food. Sheltering in a frozen ice-cave you come across a ragged hermit.

"I have food - but share it only with the wise," he says. "You may eat of my bread but only if you can answer me this: The North people believe in a hammer-god.

Which day is his?"

Invoking the spell conjures a ball of red light to form in your right hand. It pulses with warmth as you look up and try to identify a target upon which to use it.

Do you aim for the:

The red sphere flies straight and true towards the evil figure of your enemy.. She deftly bats it aside, causing it to crash out through the ice wall. With a malicious grin she unleashes her own spell which strikes you full in the chest. You feel a strange tingling spread through your body...

You look down at yourself. You seem to be wearing an ill-fitting dinner jacket and baggy trousers. Then you notice that your nose seems to have got longer your arms shorter and the floor closer.

Yes, you have been turned into a PENGUIN!

"Oh dear," says Treguard. "I hope you like fish dinners...."

Your heat spell flies off above the sorceress' head but misses the chandelier. It strikes the ceiling and for a moment there is silence. Then the great sheets of ice above your head shiver and crack. You hurry for the door but before you can reach safety...

CRRRRRRRASSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!

"Well," says Treguard, "that certainly brought the house down!"

The Sorceress blinks with surprise as the ball of HEAT flashes past her. She turns with alarm as the block the ice containing Sidriss shatters, exploding under pressure from within. The heat ball turns upon Aesandre and she abandons her attack on you to raise a hasty defence.

For a few moments you watch anxiously as the fight rages at the far end of the hall. But then the floor there melts, and with a hideous curse Aesandre sinks from view.

Sidriss conjures the ice to reform and runs towards you.

"At last one of my spells has worked! Now we must hurry from here. I doubt my magic will hold her long. Spellcasting: H.O.M.E........."

In the merest instant you are returned to Castle Knightmare. Hordriss is reunited with his daughter.

"Foolish one to risk the perils of the Ice Palace," he chides her.

"Well Done, brave traveller," says Treguard. "You have proven worthy and have achieved your Quest. You may now count yourself among the Knights of Knightmare Castle."

Written by Mike Cule. "Knightmare" is a Broadsword Production for Anglia TV

Digitext would like to thank castleteletext.com for permission in allowing this on here

Credits

Story written by Mike Cule

Original Teletext artwork by Mr Biffo

Thanks to Al for archiving the original Teletext pages. ROBOTFUZZ

Thanks to Mark from ‘Fighting Fantasy (and other gamebooks)’ for mapping it out FFAOGB

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LA wildfires: why they escalated so quickly with such dramatic effect 301

Murakami on AI, anime and his pop-infused visual universe 302

Government to unveil plan on artificial intelligence regulation 303

LA fires root cause is fossil fuels says climate expert 304

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LA wildfires: why they escalated so quickly with such dramatic effect

Everywhere you go, in the mountains, foothills and canyons that surround the bowl of Los Angeles, you cannot miss the signs telling you what you cannot do because of the fire risk – smoke; have a barbecue; loiter with a running engine – the list goes on.

It is clear that California’s biggest city, and one of the richest urban areas in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, has spent hugely and for decades on the art of trying to prevent wildfires.

So the question so many are asking here is how all this failed so spectacularly in the Angelinos’ hour of need, indeed, days of need.

Well, the first answer, and the most important answer, comes down to global climate change and the effect burning fossil fuels is having on climatic events.

The autumn rains simply didn’t happen in the LA area. This, on top of years of drought and years of ever increasing summer and indeed winter temperatures, coupled with the annual winter Santa Ana winds being exceptionally strong.

So the ground – chaparral scrubland – is parched behind tinder-dry.

What’s key here is that these factors of weather intensification are now happening all over the world, and now here comes the ominous lesson.

I have spoken to junior firefighters on the frontline, right through to their seniors, at many locations in the past few days, and all of them say the same thing, which tragically appears to have gone all but unreported.

If you have the climatic factors noted above, you cannot use large fixed-wing aircraft to drop water and fire retardant on a burning area. You cannot use helicopters to do the same with the precision that you require, the dispersants and water will simply blow away and you cannot fly anyway in wind conditions much above 35 mph.

Wind conditions last week were often 60 to 100 mile an hour hurricane force gusts. Moreover, you cannot deploy human beings into these areas because the speed of the fire’s movement means that is impossibly dangerous.

So too for tenders and fire appliances, many vehicles were overwhelmed by the flames. All of this memorably summed up by one senior firefighting coordinator as we sat on a balcony in Mandeville Canyon, watching the Palisades fire –  the biggest one.

I asked him: “What can you do in conditions of extreme high winds, drought and wildfires?” He looked at me and said: “Frankly sir – run away.”

It wasn’t a joke. It was stating the fact of self- preservation in those conditions. There is no such thing as firefighting when conditions are as they were last week.

Let me repeat that: no such thing.

We know from climate modelling, from scientists, that those conditions will become more common, not just here, but around the world.

A second factor is that the anti-fire measures, supposedly mandatory for all homeowners, were widely ignored. Wealthy people, in particular, do not want to cut a minimum five foot space without vegetation around their homes, as the regulation requires. They want the opposite, dense greenery to provide privacy and, of course, wooden fences, which turned out to be a key accelerant in the fires which entered and obliterated large urban areas.

Third, the terrain means that clearing dead wood, which is a significant fire accelerant, in areas which are often steep-sided canyons, cannot be done mechanically. You have to put people in there, and often use ropes.

Frankly, it is virtually impossible.

Which brings us to the problem: urban sprawl. How is it that planners allowed people to build homes, when in the Pacific Palisades area, these homes are often minor palaces? And in these canyons, which everybody knows are prone to bush fires as a natural process on an almost annual basis?

And yet, in the Palisades area, these lavish homes are perfectly aligned along the canyons in areas where clearing brush is virtually impossible, and because of the terrain, the only access is endlessly winding, snaking roads, which again hampers fire defence. In short, allowing the building of houses in these areas around Los Angeles is like allowing the building of homes on flood plains in the UK. You can do it by all means, but one day, you will pay a price.

A fifth critical factor in all this is the water supply. Despite the Los Angeles authorities being acutely aware of fire risk, the water supply system is just that: a water supply for humans, for homes and businesses. It simply  is not designed for sudden, massive surges in the requirement needed to fight fires.

So it was that in the critical time of need, the pressure in many fire hydrants simply wasn’t there, and they ran dry. As one firefighter in the Palisades area lamented to me, in the street his team was given to defend, every single house bar one was burned down.

That sole house survived because they could drain the swimming pool in the back garden to save it. The fire hydrant in that street was dry, overwhelmed by the pressure of demand.

Much has been made too of the fact that a key reservoir in the Palisades district wasn’t available for use because of long-running refurbishment.

Hardly a planning disaster, since key  infrastructure needs to be kept functional, but it certainly didn’t help.

So, when you put all those factors together, you pretty soon see why the situation escalated so quickly, with such dramatic effect, accelerating at dangerous velocity, down the hillsides and canyon valleys to gain access to urban areas.

And then there is one final factor, ever present: human idiocy. Even in this year’s punishing drought, on New Year’s Eve in the Palisades chaparral, people gathered to party and let off fireworks.

Yup, they really did.

Within hours, firefighters were tackling a blaze in the Palisades area caused by said fireworks . They put it out, or they thought they put it out and left the area. There is now considerable circumstantial evidence to suggest that the Palisades blaze – the biggest – may have been caused by that fire lying dormant only to reignite some weeks later in the bone-dry ground and hurricane force winds.

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Murakami on AI, anime and his pop-infused visual universe

He’s one of the most prolific artists working today – and he’s even been called the Japanese Andy Warhol.

Takashi Murakami’s pop-infused visual universe –  a mixture of anime, manga and seventeenth century fine art – has appeared on everything from the covers of best-selling albums to handbags.

He’s also produced music videos for Billie Eilish and Pharrell Williams. And – unlike many of his contemporaries – he embraces the use of AI in the creative process.

We went to meet him at his new exhibition in London.

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Government to unveil plan on artificial intelligence regulation

The government is promising to harness artificial intelligence to deliver growth and boost living standards.

But that’s after a week of attacks against the prime minister by one of the biggest tech players in the world – Elon Musk.

And along with new technology comes new dangers – with parents of children harmed by online content warning their protection must be paramount.

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LA fires root cause is fossil fuels says climate expert

We spoke to Dr Varun Sivaram, a senior fellow for energy and climate at the Council on Foreign Relations and Dr Peter Kalmus, a climate scientist and the author of “Being the Change: Live Well and Spark a Climate Revolution’.

They have both lived and worked in the parts of Los Angeles reduced to ash.

We began by asking for their reactions to the devastating fires.

Peter Kalmus: It was devastating. It’s been a crazy, intense week. There’s kind of no words for it, I still am struggling emotionally.

Cathy Newman: You made the decision two years ago to move away from the Los Angeles area. Explain why you came to that decision?

Peter Kalmus: Los Angeles had been getting hotter since I moved there in 2008. More fiery, the droughts have been getting worse, and I just started kind of imagining if my neighbourhood burned, how would I get out? What would I take? And then in 2020, there was a really big fire close to our home, and that was a big wake-up call for us.

Cathy Newman: Dr Varun Sivaram, you also worked in the area in Palisades, which has been up in flames as well. Your response to what you’ve seen in the last few days?

Varun Sivaram: Absolutely, I started my career as a city official in the city of Los Angeles, senior adviser to the mayor, and the first project I ever did was to inaugurate a solar car wash, solar panels on a car wash in the Palisades. It’s now right within the active fire zone. It’s absolutely tragic, and my heart goes out to all my friends and everyone else who’s lost homes and businesses. What Peter said is correct, it is the case that climate change has contributed to many of the conditions that make wildfires much more common. The last four years, three of those last four years, have been the record-breaking wildfire years in recorded history. And this wildfire will be the most expensive in recorded history. But there isn’t very much that we can do about stopping climate change right this second. It’s not in the United States’ control, it’s not the United Kingdom’s control where you are. The number one response right this moment, pragmatically, is to build the adaptation resilience capability, both to withstand future disasters and to make them far less deadly, for example, by ensuring that folks don’t build in the most disaster-prone areas.

Cathy Newman: In terms of removing the brush and keeping things clear so the area is less flammable, that’s part of this sort of pragmatism you describe?

Varun Sivaram: Yeah, there are a lot of things we can do going forward. This disaster was unprecedented, but we sort of also could have seen some of this coming. Owing to climate change, owing to new precipitation patterns, for example, at least in part. We had record rainfall in California for two years and then record dryness or drought that created these bone-dry conditions ,where the previous two wet years created a lot of vegetation. And then we had these hurricane speed Santa Ana winds that contributed to these blazes, 100 mile plus winds that are blowing embers and spreading the fire faster than anybody could get ready for.

Cathy Newman: Peter Kalmus, is it possible to approach this problem of climate change in that pragmatic way that Varun’s just described?

Peter Kalmus: My view is that this is only the barest beginning. The planet is still getting hotter and will keep getting hotter as long as we burn fossil fuels. These kinds of disasters will get much, much worse. So, yes, we have to take measures now, but at some level, eventually all these suggestions will be completely overwhelmed by how hot the planet gets. We’re only at about one and a half degrees now, what is it going to be like when it’s two degrees or two and a half degrees above pre-industrial levels? It’s going to be a nightmare that we can barely imagine right now. So these kinds of little adaptations, we need to do them, but it’s going to be a little bit like trying to stop a huge wildfire like this with a garden hose. At some point, it’s just not going to work at all. So we have to address the root cause, which is fossil fuels, as quickly as we can for our survival. We’re going to have impacts that we can’t even really predict right now. They’re going to be synergistic things hitting at the same time, impacts to our food system, heat waves that kill millions of people in a matter of a few days. And I want to make the point that the fossil fuel industry in the 70s saw this coming with uncanny accuracy. They chose to spread disinformation and block action when they could have chosen to alert world leaders and work with us to transition. That’s the choice I would have made. It’s just the biggest moral failure, I think, in human history.

Varun Sivaram: Peter’s right to be angry. We should all be angry. But I hate to say it, Peter, it’s not going to get us very far. Going forward, here’s how I look at this problem. I completely agree with Peter, by the way, that the disasters will only get worse in scope. The world is going to blow right past our climate goals. We’re on track for more than three degrees of warming, which an expert like Peter will probably tell us is going to lead to some very scary consequences. And so, therefore, I think we don’t need to do garden hose adaptations. We need to do large adaptation interventions. I agree with Peter that the ultimate solution for ensuring that the world is not consumed by these disasters is in fact to reduce fossil fuels globally. Over the next 75 years, the United States, and we can throw in the United Kingdom too, will account for less than 5 per cent of future greenhouse gas emissions. We alone don’t really matter. The emissions are actually falling in the developed world. They’re rising in emerging economies, India, Brazil, South Africa, Indonesia, and China is by far the world’s largest emitter. Unless we reduce their greenhouse gas emissions, we won’t make any progress. And that’s why I think this should be the number one foreign policy priority of the United States, United Kingdom, and every one of our allies.

Cathy Newman: Let’s land up then at the political row that has erupted as the fires rage. Peter, the Republicans blaming Democrat mismanagement, whether that’s failure to clear the brush, the empty reservoir, the low pressure in the fire hydrants. The Democrats saying ‘this is climate change, it’s a horror and we got to deal with it’. How do we find any political way forward here?

Peter Kalmus: Maybe there could have been somewhat better management. I don’t think it would have made a lot of difference. I think this is a red herring. It’s a distraction by the Republicans, it’s political blame shifting. We have a problem on the planet. The planet is overheating. It’s gotten to an emergency level. We have to start working together. And I think it is really important to get angry because the public right now is quite unfocused. They’re confused. They’re afraid. A lot of people don’t realise that global heating is caused by fossil fuels. A lot of people think recycling will solve this. A lot of people don’t know that the fossil fuel industry has been lying for decades and there’s powerful interests that want to block action. The only way to get those powerful interests to change is if the public pushes for that change. And I think anger is one way to get the public to push coherently.

Cathy Newman: Just final word from both of you. Peter, do you have any hope for the future?

Peter Kalmus: Producing electricity from solar is now by far the cheapest way to produce electricity, and I think we have the solutions. We just have basically this very wealthy class which continues to profit from fossil fuels and is blocking the implementation of these solutions. So, yes, we will not transition away from fossil fuels overnight. But there’s a ton that we could be doing right now to transition that we aren’t doing.

Cathy Newman: Varun, can you have any hope?

Varun Sivaram: If we ultimately decide the global energy transition is just too expensive and hard, the United States and others may take leadership in embarking on geoengineering approaches. These are kind of extreme, but they could enable us to limit the world’s temperature increase through these extreme interventions, such as reflecting radiation from the Earth’s atmosphere. And I think we may have to turn to those as the emergency brake to prevent further catastrophic global warming.

Cathy Newman: Peter, you were shaking your head.

Peter Kalmus: We’ve got to stop beating around the bush. Yes, we may end up geoengineering, but it’s a horrifying thought to me. We could have catastrophic termination shock in that scenario. Why is it so hard to actually look at this directly and say it’s caused by fossil fuels? We have to work together to end fossil fuels.